October 2009
1 post
10/3/09. 3:44pm. “I’m glad I didn’t die before I met you.<3”
You’re the only one who says it better than Conor himself. I love you [:
September 2009
1 post
Well, I have to say...
It’s a shitty feeling to find out the only person you’ve been able to “trust” for the last year, the person you thought was your absolute best friend (and were really quite head over heels for…) is a complete fake. Just like any other guy. I can’t adjust… There’s no balance in this situation. I either completely hate you. Or completely love you,...
June 2009
1 post
It's probably not a good thing.
It’s probably not a good thing, when I look back at the pages of this blog and can hardly remember writing the majority of it. I spent entirely too long wrapped up in depression and self-injury, and it was like I was a completely different person then. I can honestly say I’m happy now. The state I’m in currently, I’d never write anything like that. I’m turning...
May 2009
1 post
It’s summer!
Finally. I’m officially a senior… It feels so weird. No kidding. Like, a few more months and I’ll have to start applying for college, and worrying about graduation. This is INSANE.
This is the most surreal feeling.
April 2009
3 posts
Rambling on hallways, and trap doors.
This hallway doesn’t end, does it? Doors everywhere, brick walls and obstacle courses behind each one. I keep searching for that one… The one that will let me out of here, into a brighter place. I’m losing hope. The floor beneath my feet holds a few doors of it’s own. Trap doors, into infinite darkness. One press of the button, and I’m gone. I’ve escaped...
To the ones that have broken my heart: You’re masochists. Each and every one of you. You enjoy this kind of pain? I had no idea hurting someone else could hurt worse than being cheated on, lied to, or led on. I hate this. I’m sorry… :/
March 2009
1 post
It's a work in progress.
I’m trying to get this done. So I wrapped it up quickly, and didn’t really read over it. I guess that might make it a little more real, a little less edited? Either way, here’s to you.
I’m standing on top of this mountain of debris that I have spent the last month and a half trying to dig myself out of. I saw this coming a long time ago, remember? I told you that you would...
February 2009
3 posts
Awwwe :( I just came across this on Truth Box…. It made me want to cry :’(
At the age of 5 the boy and girl
played in a little grass maze.
The little boy ran off.
The girl yelled “you lost me”.
In 8th grade they were in that same math class.
The girl didn;t understand one of the problems.
So she asked the boy for help.
He started to explain.
Once he was done she said...
“We often ask God to show up. We pray prayers of rescue. Perhaps God would ask us...”
– Jamie Tworkowski
I have a feeling this will get much worse before it gets better. I don’t fall out of love too easily, unlike you.
January 2009
5 posts
I just want this to end.
I love you more than anything in this entire world. Losing you is killing me. I want to end the pain now. Whether that’s good, or if I’m done for, I don’t know. All I know is I hate living without you…
Whatever happened to “I’d rather fall to my death than to let you fall.”?
You’re so full of shit. No better than the rest of them. I never thought you’d be the one to so this to me. To leave me lying in my room in the dark crying until I’m gasping for breath. I loved you. I love you still. But why would you do this to me? Was EVERYTHING a lie? Probably so,...
First post in a while.
I’ve always considered myself to be a pretty decent friend when it comes to listening to my friends’ problems, and giving marginally helpful advice. Maybe not the greatest, but good enough. I’m starting now to realize that I’m not as helpful as I thought, which leads me to…maybe I’m just not a good friend? There’s been a lot going on lately that is...
December 2008
11 posts
I’ll have your name on my wrists forever and no one will ever know.
You, On Repeat.
My mind plays you like my favorite happy song. The one I’ve always got on repeat. I smile and think of the things that you say, the things that make my heart melt in the best way. As those words start to fade out like the last notes of a tune, I come down from Cloud 9 and just wait in silence. A second passes, and a fancy first verse with too many voices rings loud in my head. Strike...
It’s funny how just a dream (rather a very vivid memory recalled whilst asleep) can completely change your day… That happened today, when I had a dream of last summer and the first boy I ever loved. When I woke up, I was surprised how upset about it I was, even though it was over a year ago. So I wrote this. MondayEyes feedback on it made me feel like it actually...
We were invincible once.
Don’t you remember the day I wrote your name on my hand, with a little heart? “Take a picture, it’ll last longer” I did just that. And it lasted a lot longer than those scribbled words. A lot longer than those feelings behind the ink. You held onto that picture for a long time, didn’t you? For a while, you happily showed it as an illusion that you were happy to...
This just won't fade, will it?
I honestly thought I’d be able to make it. We never really were “anything” but at the same time… You were everything. I’d love to be able to go back to a month ago, before things changed. I know that’s not going to happen though; and I thought I could handle that. You’re so far away, it’d be like nothing ever changed. But everything did. And it...
“Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn’t the work he is...”
– Robert Benchley
